If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
