if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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