How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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