there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
