Where is the hickey?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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