he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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