OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
