I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
