Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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