my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
