Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
