On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Boobs speak an international language.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
