i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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