fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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