i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
