I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
