i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
