I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
