so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
