I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
