I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
