genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
being pregnant is like rehab
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
