the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
