is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
