Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
