no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
