Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He did a backflip because drugs
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
