didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
