i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
