i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
