have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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