The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
