I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
