I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
