If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
