Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize