This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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