My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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