I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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