marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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