is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
