I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
