Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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