Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
