My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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