Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
