Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
