I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
