i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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