Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
