this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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