guys are not supposed to queef...right?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
